Family Movie Night

After reading Angelle's post on the teen page about movies and after my own reference to movies in my last post on this page, I thought talking about family movie night would be a good place to get a conversation going on finding good movie choices for our families.

I'll say first that I have been strung up in public over a movie recommendation before, so please understand that what I think is appropriate in my house may not be in yours, so rather than writing me hate mail, just know that the movies I'm putting out here are pretty benign as movies go, but use your own judgement.  I've tried to hit the major age groups.

Okay, aside from just about any movie made before 1960, like wonderful old movies you can still count on (Elizabeth and her dad love the old Vincent Price movies), Catholic based rental movies about lives of saints are nice, and the like, I also want to put in my two cents on the PBS aired movies and miniseries.  The movies made from Jane Austen novels, which I love, love, love, are some of my fav's, because most of them portray good characters who are socially appropriate, especially in the area of courting, and in generally doing the right thing.  Wicked characters usually get their come-up-ins.  We also enjoy some of the PBS britcoms because their adult humor is usually hidden or minor.  Our favorite britcom is on Saturday night at 8:30 called "As Time Goes By" about a couple who were young lovers who lost touch during the war, and reunite as they approach retirement.  It is hilarious to me, probably because the gentleman is so much like my husband, I can relate to his dry sense of humor and some of his other quirky, but old fashioned qualities.  It is a regular date for us unless we actually have a date.

Okay, movies...

If I had to pin down an all time favorite animated movie for any age it would be The Incredibles.  Know that I am not one of those adults who enjoy animated movies, cartoons, commercials or sitcoms, but this movie has something for everyone.  The reason I like it, is its message.  Every member of this super family has a unique gift or superpower and because of that, each one of them has something that helps the family survive its own difficulties with their nemesis, illustrating the same thing in our own families of needing to appreciate each one of our strengths in making the family stronger.  We've even chatted after watching it-for the hundredth time-about what superpowers we each have, mine would likely be the ability to create sarcasm at a moment's notice.  Not very helpful.  I know.

My next pick is a mix of animation and real world characters in the movie Enchanted.  If you are anti Disney, like I tend to be sometimes, or have any preconceived notions, you must see this movie before judgement.  This movie glorifies chastity and celebrates the decision of waiting even to kiss someone until after you are married.  The princess has waited her whole life for this and speaks several times of the power of true love's kiss.  She also ends up becoming a realistic version of a princess, a woman treated well and loved by her beloved, rather than the fairy tale version.  For those of us who grew up with all the Disney tales of princes and princesses, the movie has taken pieces of all of those old stories and enveloped them within this modern tale.  You can see parts of the old tales in the storyline of this movie.  It is a beautiful story, with sweet songs and funny mishaps.  I almost dismissed it because Susan Sarandon was in it, and I can be quite judgemental, but I'm so glad I overlooked that.

The next favorite of mine is from more recent years.  The movie Inkheart is a fantasy movie about a man who has magical powers when he reads, powers he wished he didn't have.  This movie appealed to all my children, but having castles and mythical beings in it, makes it a good choice for boys.  I especially liked that there were no sexual story lines and that the villain was never glorified.  He was the villain from the beginning.  There is a true purpose of doing the right thing in the story, and in doing so, the main characters prevail. It may be a little scary for very young children, but school aged kids should enjoy it, right up through mom and dad.  It does have an element of romance in that the main character is fighting for his love.

I wanted to offer some recent movie for tweens and teens to enjoy.  I thought there are so many boy-loves-girl-loves-boy type movies, yet most don't make it past my radar for the kids.  Then I found a movie I recently watched and remembered why I liked it so much.

The Lake House is a story of a couple who are separated in time by only two years.  They accidentally meet from written letters through a mailbox, at a lake house where they both lived at different times.  He is living in 2004 and she is in 2006.  It sounds like a goofy movie plot but what makes this story so special is that they of course, eventually fall in love through writing their letters.  They want to meet but there are obstacles, like the fact that she didn't meet him until 2006 so if he went to find her in 2004 she would not know who he is and thought he was some stalker.  Without giving it away, the theme is having to wait to be together when the time is right, another story about waiting before you give your love away.  At some point, Keanu Reeves' character is told by his brother how foolish he is for waiting for this girl who is in another time, responded by Keanu's character who talks about how much he loves her and no substitute girl could ever take the place of this woman he is determined to be with one day.  My 12 year old watched this with me since there are no scenes of sex or drugs or anything, only kissing.  Both of the main characters have good morals and do the right thing in the side story lines.  For you mom and dads, this is a nice date movie, even if it is a bit of a chic flick.

I could go on, but there's only so much room I have here, AND I want you to continue this conversation.  Please comment below and share your favorite movies for our own family movie nights!

One Mom's View of Socialization

When someone asks about socialization, are they asking if our kids can interact with others?  Do they really think my child is like Jodie Foster's character in the movie Nell - someone who has been isolated since birth from society, and can't interact with other people in the world, until Liam and his magical speech therapist show up and change her world.  Really?  I don't think so.

I think people are really asking if we keep our children away from other people as if we're all somehow "protecting them from the world". 
I have been accused of this myself.  Like you perhaps, those in my peripheral view don't know, and certainly don't understand why we homeschool, thus making it easy to make assumptions about our motives.  We must be overprotective parents, control freaks, religious nuts, etcetera, and due to our anti-social tendencies our children will rebel one day and not have the skills necessary to live normally in the world.

That is unless they've lived underground since birth, with no one but their parents to socialize with, like Brendon Fraser in Blast from the Past.  But in the end, Brendon's character is the one who seems to have all the necessary social skills to get out of a jam.  And he was the ultimate homeschooler.  Curious. 
I love that movie.

I've compared my view of parental protection by explaining that you don't have to throw your children to the wolves to teach them about the dangers of wolves.  My kids are learning about sin in the world because I expose them to the truth, not hide it from them.  But in our attempts to defend our way of life, let's be bold and practice some humility and admit, when it comes to some aspects of social living, the homeschooler does have to work a little harder at developing a family plan for their kids to have a network of peers. 

There I said it.  And I don't regret it.  Yet.

Before you verbally beat me up or send me hate mail, let me explain. 
I believe completely, that my children are each others BFF's so to speak.  I want it that way and it isn't because I want to control them.  I want them to want it, not me.  I also know that our family is their social network, and meets their emotional and social needs fully.   Who else should be there for them in their laughter, tears, successes and failures?  

But when I see them with their peeps, their pals who are going through the same phases in life they are, like prepubescent hormonal personality changes, it makes me melt inside when I see that they have each other to validate their feelings and talk about nonsense, that makes for wonderful memories they'll one day have to remember these days.

I want this for my babies.  I want them to have every possible place to softly fall when the world discourages them or a place to celebrate when the world has embraced them.  I want them to have both family and friends to share this life with.

I've heard it said that friends are God's apology for family.  I hope that isn't true with most of us, but I'm sure you can relate, at least sometimes.  I don't mind if my kids want to have some secrets they share with their pals, but while I still can, I get to help them discern what true friends really are, so they can make wise choices when they are on their own.  I am so grateful to have this wonderful mix of kids in our group, who are going through just what my kids are going through, and can relate to being a Catholic homeschooling kid with bizarre parents who are unsocial.